so its been awhile... 6 months to be exact. i haven't posted since i started the new job and now i'm half a year into my contract. things have been crazy ... but not unexpected when we talk about hong kong life style. i guess, the hardest thing about living here, is finding a place to quiet down and hear my self and God. on the upside tho, if it can be done here, it can probably be done anywhere.

its hasn't been all bad tho... i mean, i do have a gf now. i guess thats kinda good :/... j/k. i absolutely adore her. she is a blessing from coconut land. she has really helped me to think about and focus on the things that are more important in life. and she has been so gentle and supportive, which is why this entry is going to be dedicated to her.

thank you, my camotes.







we meet for breakfast often, in an attempt to retire earlier during the nights. we're not always successful in getting to bed early, but our record for meeting for breakfast has been flawless.

i guess i'll start with ... starting a new job. its not just a new job - its my first full-time job, so essentially, its a new experience all together. it hasn't been a drastic transition from being jobless/roaming the world aimlessly/being completely irresponsible, to working full-time... what i mean is, part of the time i was jobless/roaming the world aimlessly/being completely irresponsible, i was doing it hanging around the church office, which, subsequently, is where i work now. so, instead of just disturbing my friends in the office, i have a whole department to disturb... all 2 of them - helen and marcus, who are very awesome people let me add.

anyhow, my job title is Middle School Coordinator, which basically means i play Wii and foosball with kids aged 11-13 - plus the occasional throwing-them-on-beanbags. DO NOT BE FOOLED. its not that easy. we also give talks weekly, and this is where the hope of speaking directly into their lives is embedded. but, them being tweeners, thinking everything is a joke, the most common sounds coming out of our mouths during this portion of the week is "shhhhhhhhh" or "stop it" or what not... course, we could just make the talks more interesting and naturally they would be drawn to it, but then we wouldn't have time to practice Wii and foosball, and the risk of losing to the kids?! - thats worse than giving a bad talk. our street cred be tainted by middle schoolers. just kidding. we work really hard investing ourselves to be able to speak into these kids lives.

i also work with the high-schoolers on friday nights, but the highlight of these TGIFs are the weekly duels between High School Girls, which consists of Mel Ho and i, and our archenemy - the College Grad Guys, which is basically Gary and Chris. course HSGs are pwning those CGG noobs.

anyway, here are a few pictures of my desk and totally-unrated-to-this-post photos that i put up to make my desk more me.




holga shots of africa, cali, germany, katie, jen cline and ross.


holga and headphones


my new macbook pro 17"

one last thing... so, Hong Kong has really lowered the number of illegal food venders due to strict laws. there used to be many fishball trollies or smelly tofu trollies roaming the streets. but those venders have upgraded... they've adapted... and this is their new face.



instead of trollies... they went straight for the van.

jon:
so ... yeah
God did tell me to stay
yeah.
he did tell me to stay here and help out afterwards
but i don't know for what yet
but i mean thats all going to unfold as we get closer to it
12:40 PM

mike:
ohh okay
how was it confirmed
that you would stay
did He speak to you oneday
while praying?

jon:
well i want to stay
and my biggest worry was in money
like financial support
but anyway... he was working on something else as well
in terms of how to deal with money
how to be responsible and accountable in how i spend the money i'm given.
anyway, during that time i don't think i was using my money in the best way.
and i only had like 200 euros left
and he told me to give it away...
-_-"
but i didn't
anyway, i got more funds... and during this one day, we were giving money to ppl that still haven't payed for the outreach yet
12:45 PM
and God, once again told me to give the 200 euros away (btw, the person he told me to give it to isn't going on an outreach, he's base staff).
this whole time, when i only had 200 euros left, if i would give all of it away, he would some how provide for me.
but the day when i decided to give away that 200 euro, i already had more money from my parents - so basically it meant, it wasn't that big of a risk factor - i didn't need God to step in and provide for me because i had no money
when i merely decided to give the money away (haven't even done the action yet), another person came up to me (liz) and gave me 20 euros
she said "i don't know if you need this, or if it will help, but God told me to give this to you"
i was so shocked
12:50 PM
it was like... even tho i didn't take the big risk the first time he asked,
he still gave me money - he still blessed me
even tho i was disobedient the first time, and only when there wasn't that much risk in giving, he still blessed me
granted. it was only 10% of what i gave away, but i think it was worth more than rubies and jewels when it came to the profundity in the way God spoke
it was like he was saying, you have money, i'll still give you more
i'll give you more than you need
i'll give you more than what you'll need to stay alive, afloat, survive

mike:
hmm

jon:
and i think it was just because i obeyed him
not even the first time around, but the second time
when there wasn't much risk
he still chose to reveal himself
to me it was so profound
so subtle but yet so powerful
and it moves on to what happens after DTS
or this program
i want to stay
my only worry was financial
12:55 PM
and how can i question his provision after an act like this
He will provide more than my mere necessities

mike:
hmm wow
thanks for sharing
praise God.. He speaks in so many different ways


jon:
lol
yeah

mike:
hmm so somoene gave you 2 euros
20*

jon:
yeah

mike:
when you were ab out to give away the3 200?

jon:
not even
it was just in my mind
i only decided to give it away
i didn't even do it till like a weak after this revelation happened

mike:
hmm interesting
how much is 200 euros?

jon:
i didn't know why
almost $300
294.xx

mike:
ohh okay
so you gave that all away..
and your parents sent you a bit more?

jon:
no no... my parents had already sent me money
which is why it wasn't that big of a risk
1:00 PM
they sent me 1000 euros
and i have 300 away
100 to another friend
he's crazy
he gave away all his outreach money
2000 euros
well somewhere around there
a little less
maybe around 1900

mike:
wait to you?!

jon:
no
to his outreach leader

mike:
ohh okay

jon:
he still dones't have the money and we leave on sunday
lol

mike:
the outreach leader doesn't have the money?

jon:
the outreach leader does now... but my friend nathan, who gave away his outreach money to the leader, still doesn't have the money
and we all leave for outreach on sunday
he's going to india/sri lanka

mike:
hmm wow

jon:
and i'm going to tibet

mike:
ohh okay
hmm interesting

jon:
yeah
yeah...

mike:
so wow..
God once again shows us
that even when you gave 200
He still provided
and thus taught you obedience, trust, His Sovereignty and grace, etc

jon:
yeah i know
thru a measly 20 euros
its kinda ironic
and poetic how he shows his power over money by using money to reveal all these things to me

mike:
mmm
so its like
crazy how
even thought we may think it was a mere 20
once again like you said
the risk at the time when you were contemplating the 200
wasn't that big at all because of your parents and what not
so its like He seems to be almost saying that
even in the future
no matter what happens with all this in regards to staying, finanicallly, etc
if He can show you how much more amazing He is through that situation
then you can definitely have faith in Him later when the bigger issues may come financially
and He'
will take care of it, whether you continue giving more, receiving more, etc

jon:
well i think th lesson here, or what is to be learnt, is the obedience to God
it was kinda like Jonah
although i didn't avoid him as many times
that once i obeyed, once i stepped out of my comfort zone, even tho it was just a little bit, he blessed me
kinda like how it was with abraham
once he met God, God sent him out (leaving his comfort zone), but once he left his comfort zone, God blessed him even more (the nations).
i stepped out of my comfort zone, like a tip toe, and God, right away revealed to me His character, his reward for obedience.
you can't out give God

mike:
hahah indeed
promises forevermore
as long as we trust in his future grace and step out in obedience

jon:
yeah
anyway
gotta go eat lunch now
1:15 PM

mike
okie

week 7
God's Father Heart

this week didn't go as planned for us as a base. David Ausdahl was to speak about the Father's heart for us, but instead of him speaking, God did most of the talking. i think this was the turning point for our DTS as a group. This is where we started uniting. for so long it seemed as though some people have been riding in the back seat and letting others determine the direction of the DTS. but this week, through a whole day of just confessions and forgiveness, people in the back seat started stepping up and speaking out. it was very encouraging for me to her more about what God has been doing in the lives of these individuals. i've wondered and worried that not everyone was struggling, wrestling and growing with God, but this week showed me how much God was moving, how much God cared for each individual. it was refreshing to hear new points of views, people that we've never heard from at the front of the room sharing about how God is moving - in more subtle and delicate ways. God is a gentle God; gentle and caring. i think thats what i got from this week, and it was especially illuminated by David Ausdahl. He cried so many times. It was so encouraging for me because when i'm moved by the Holy Spirit, i usually cry as well (well not full on cry, just tear a little - don't tell anyone). God loves us as a family. he didn't want us to have separation between any individuals and the time of confession brought us all together - we usually think that the best way to deal with conflict is to just ignore it, but in fact, when there is conflict, both parties are wrong, and the best way to deal conflict is to confess the sins we have committed to each other. This week, God did surgery on us (cliche, i know). we did some tough things, it took a lot of courage for us to confess to both individuals and to people as a whole, but the more we did it, the easier it got; our courage grew with each person that shared, but we also started to understand that we weren't vindictive to one another, it was mostly misunderstanding and confusion. the hardest thing to do for us was to take the initiative and confess the sins we had. This week reminded me of a C.S. Lewis quote, one of my favorites; "The hardness of god is softer than the kindest man, and his compulsion is our liberation". sometimes God forces us into tough situations, impossible situations, situations that make us tremble and curse with anger, he forces us to walk through these situations, to do the impossible and to take those steps despite our fears and anger and when we come out on the other side we rejoice with celebration, joyfulness, but most of all with liberation. the more we confessed as a group, the more liberated each individual was to share. to a point where it almost seemed never-ending. God's father heart is for us to obey Him and trust in Him, and in return he will grant us our freedom.

we went to paris this weekend to celebrate Jan's accomplishment of having his photos presented in the Louvre. at the Paris Photo, i encountered Michael Kenna's photography and it stirred in me something indescribable. his photos are so simple, but yet so deep, like the simplicity of a haiku poem conveyin so much in so little (i love paradoxes):

"Delight, then sorrow,
aboard the cormorant
fishing boat" - Basho

Michael Kenna:





we also ran into some complications concerning getting lost in Paris and three people being torn away from the rest of the group by a white truck that cut them off. all because of a white truck. boycott them. but we're all safe, in herrnhut, enjoying the german language that makes us feel at home.

Page 1.
I had no clue what to expect when i heard the topic for this week was God's Plumb-line. The truth is, i had no idea what a plumb-line was, and therefore, didn't know how it related to God or ourselves. But when shown what a plumb-line was, it was easy to grasp the analogy presented before us; it was used to measure straight walls. Simply put, a straight wall (Godly wall) can only be built when we understand how God views us, which is found in the Word, and that we build our foundation upon it. Often times, we build our walls based on other things; we find our value on things that are not Godly, and crooked walls are built using poor stones. These stones are the symptoms of feeling rejection from our surroundings and there are 2 ways of dealing with the feelings of rejection: 1. rejection - self pity, fear, sadness, depression, etc... and 2. rebellion - manipulation, not submitting to authority, etc... so we shared about our rebellions and our rejections in a prayer group.

i was first in the group to
share and basically the time was quite revealing. the first thing that
was addressed was how i found a lot of my identity in the things i
did, and its the same with God, maybe i feel like i have things that i
need to do to gain God's approval. i think its true; a lot of times i
feel like i need to have this kind of understanding, or to do these
things to be right with God. if i'm having a rough time i would look
at my life and see what things i'm not doing right, whether it is not
spending enough time with him. the main issue is that i put a lot of
pressure on myself when things aren't going well, which is why i feel
i need gain back what is lost.

the second thing we talked about was my relationship with girls. this
is surprise! i shared how there is one girl that may be distracting me
from God, and how i've fasted a couple of times so i could regain my
focus on Him. but i also shared about how i was worrying about God
wanting me to be a monk and celebate for the rest of my life. how one
of the first weeks i was here the passage in 1 Cor 7:32-35 stirred in
my heart. it was difficult for me, because i was seriously wondering
if that was God's wish for me, and i understood in my head that if it
is the path he has wanted to take he would "satisfy my desires with
good things", i would be so concerned with God's work it wouldn't
affect my desires for a wife or not. But at the end of this section,
Stefan, one of the DTS staff, just laughed and said God told him that
He has a wife prepared for me... but in His good time. and this just
occured to me, the way i see the passage in 1 cor. is completely
different now. maybe the passage was just for this period of time, i
think i've been so bogged down with thinking about finding a campanion
it was almost as if i had wife. i guess i just need to trust that He
does have someone for me, and let it be.

the third and final thing that was addressed was how my intellectual
knowledge could hinder me from experience God; the fact that i needed
to understand everything before i would obey him. this was probably
evident in the way i delt with obeying you guys in the past.
basically, my desire to understand God was hindering me from having a
relationship with Him. sometimes its just hard for me to just do what
he asks, i always need to know why, and understand before i act. God
said if i would just let go of my intellect and logical thinking it
would bring greater freedom into my life. He wants to reveal Himself
to me in new ways - though, it will be a process. Zecharia 4:6 "so he
said to me, 'This is the word from the Lord to Zerubbabel: 'Not by
might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the Lord'". And Proverbs
3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding".

page 1.
the week's focus was on the Holy Spirit spoken by Udo - a local charismatic pastor. he was a very animated person, often acting out what he was describing; very entertaining speaker. but it wasn't just his suspenseful stories and testimonies that kept us on the edge of our seats, his understanding on the Holy Spirit too raised some eyebrows in disagreement or confusion. he explained that we all needed to be baptised in the Holy Spirit on top of asking Jesus into our lives (although it is not required for salvation). the analogy he used was illustrated by saying christians who have asked Christ into their lives are saved from the pits of hell, but they are like children without parents. it is not until they have been baptised by the Holy Spirit are they then parented by God. the confusion came due to misunderstanding; many interpreted it as needing to have an actual baptismal act of the Holy Spirit for it to enter our lives, and this idea was strengthened when Udo asked people to come forward so that he could pray for people to receive the Holy Spirit at the end of the second day. many of us did not know how to receive this invitation - "should we go up and receive the holy spirit?", "wait, don't we have the Holy Spirit in us already?", "oh my, have i been living without the Holy Spirit this whole time?"... etc and others felt strongly about the call and went up to receive prayer and the holy spirit. personally, i didn't go up. i went back and forth within myself, making sure i wasn't being disobedient to the Holy Spirit for not going up, and i was given this verse to find peace in my decision for not needing to receive the prayer: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. against such things there is no law. those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires." - Galatians 5:22-24. i was reminded that i have been growing in these things, which is evident that i too, have the Holy Spirit within me.

page 2.
it wasn't all confusing and head scratching the whole week. on the last day, friday, it was through Udo's teaching that i found conformation that i am suppose to be here, and that God orchestrated everything. Udo explained that the Holy Spirit is within us, and it is constantly battling with the flesh/soul - Romans 7:15-18, and the closer we are to God, the more we allow the Holy Spirit to be our master; less of the flesh. i really needed to be in a community of christians; brothers and sisters, so that i could have the freedom for the Holy Spirit within me to grow. it was this tiny realization that allowed me to understand that i am most definitely and inexcusably suppose to be here. i'm sure that i'll have more things later, but this was the first time where my head and my heart connected on this issue.

page 3.
my quiet times have been good. not extremely exciting, but i have been getting revelations. this week i was able to get through colossians, 1 thessalonians, and 2 thessalonians. 1 thessalonians was quit humbling for me - i'm a person that likes to obey reason, and sometimes leaders aren't as reasonable as they should be. but in chapter 4:8 it says "therefore, he who rejects this instruction does reject man butGod, who gives you his Holy Spirit." i understand that this verse is in the context to obeying the things in verses 3-7, but i think that the spirit of some of the rules the leadership has is quite healthy for our growth. and it says that we do not sin against man, but God. this is echoed in psalms 51 where david says "against you, you only, have i sinned and done what is evil in your sight." when i don't obey the people God has giving authority over me, i sin first and foremost against Him. another good verse that spoke to me is at the end of the book 5:13-16. it describes the attitude and the relations we should have with each other in a community especially like ywam - one that is filled with people that have dropped all they were doing and devoted to God's work.

page 4.
work duty is work duty, same old same old. we've had some good times, visiting bautzen on saturday and playing football on sunday. i guess the only struggle is knowing the people that i've become good friends with or the whole group will be disbanned into different parts of the world for a good 3 months. i will surely miss them.

its been a month - i made it, but just barely. But 1 month doesn't mean anything; doesn't mean a check point has been reached and you can rest for the night before you start climbing the rest of the mountain. nope. we just finished the first week of regular DTS and believe you me, tackling regular DTS and PhotoDTS is tough stuff. when the rest of the DTS students have free time, we have to meet and discuss photos; when they sit around, chat, relax and have coffee, we meet in groups and argue about concepts we have to present to the German Tent Mission. the castle isn't that big, but it was too small for 28 ppl (PhotoDTS) and now that the rest of DTS is here (78) its been people overload. its been pretty hard to find me time, or God time. BUT, its not that bad, couple of venting runs do the trick and soccer on sundays at 4pm do my soul good; highlight of my week.

journal entry from wednesday 27|9|07
"my body is starting to feel the affects of working hard and i know i'm starting to comprimise a little. not volunteering without hesitating in hopes that others would jump to the occasion. i think i'm also coming down with something. my frustration with leadership has also started to wear on me. their organization and communication abilities causes some confusion for us. But its all part of DTS; its all part of learning about being obedient; its all about stretching us and learning to rely on God both physically and mentally... i guess? -_-" its easy to know these things intellectually, but following through on it is not as simple. but, 'now i know, and knowing is half the battle' - GI Joe."

Monday 1|10|07
"...On a good note, i was able to follow through on waking up at 4am to go to the dark room. i made my prints, set them to dry, and when i returned later in the day to pick them up, i found a note next to them saying "whose prints are these? i'm so proud of you" - rebecca (PDTS leader)."

Thursday 4|10|07
"...i'm losing my cool... God is taking my world apart"

Lectures have been ok. a lady from Brazil who's one of 3 leading the DTS has been speaking every morning during the PDTS perio, but it hasn't been easy for me. there is a lot of "spiritual talk" thus far - i don't even know how to describe it because i become so disengaged; stuff like "i want to know you more Jesus", "i want to feel You God", "i want to always be in your presence" ... etc. its just a part of Christianity that i don't understand. it feels as though they use these words to hype up emotions leading up to missions and not really taking the time to read and understand the bible - God's word; that some how praying these things they will magically understand his character. this was really bothering me because i didn't want to be detatched and apathetic. i prayed about it and its definitely been better; starting to make connections and being able to relate. i was able to receive a lot during her last 2 days. it was a rough process, but i believe i'm crawling out of the tunnel into the light.

btw. good song: In the Devil's Territory - Sufjan Steven

ok so here are some photos from the PDTS period:
i'll just show you one from each set i have so far on my flickr account:

portrait


prague


herrnhut


you can go to http://www.flickr.com/photos/79093955@N00/ see more fotos.

Das Schloss.

this is the YWAM base in Herrnhut - where we have our lectures, meals and where the girls dorm. the guys on the other hand live here:




the servent's quarters. -_-"


the town of Herrnhut has about 1600 ppl - quite a drastic change from HK's population of 8 mil.(ish??). nonetheless its been great so far, was able to make a day trip to prague in the czech rep. 20min drive to the boarder, varnsdorff, then a 3 hour bus ride into prague. crazy thing is we had to stand for the ride back. but i'll post pics and comments another entry. for now i'll give you a little taste of herrnhut.




Josh Elke (his parents helped establish YWAM in hk and he was born there - his parents may know the Penners) looking down the main street in herrnhut. everything in herrnhut will be on this street.


some facades:








non-facades:





water pump:




a street sign:




gotta go into town, but theres more on my flickr account: http://www.flickr.com/photos/79093955@N00/sets/